Recent posts by Jenny Isenman

  • Tried and Tested — I Pumped Up The Voluma!

    This summer, I mentioned my 5 Starter Procedure list Yes, if you like me are trying to tell people you’re a decade younger (and you want them to believe you) these will help. That said, I recently tried good ol’ #3 and pumped up the volume in my cheeks. Since nothing I do is sacred, I thought I’d tell you ALL about it (the good, the bad, and the ugly. Oh, I said ugly).  

  • Wave Bye-Bye to “Bye-Bye Arms”

    OK, I’m mildly fascinated by what’s going on under my arms. Some people call it “bat wing” arm, but I prefer bye-bye arms (as they keep waving long after I do). 

    People of every size have this issue and I’m pretty sure gravity is to blame. Damn you gravity — you truly think keeping us from floating out into space is a fair trade for the folds, sags and wrinkles you cause?  

  • 5 Great “Starter” Procedures That May Quickly Help You  Regain Some of Your Youth

    (AKA my to-do list after spending a summer at camp with a bunch of young counselors) 

    I’m spending the summer at Camp Lenox (in the Berkshires) with my children on a journey that I thought would make me feel like a kid again. In many ways it has, but in even more ways, it has highlighted how I’m not as young as I feel.  

    You can always go back, but you can’t go back in time. There is definitely truth in this. 

  • What You Need to Know About Laser Hair Removal - to Avoid Things Getting Hairy

    I’m spending the summer at camp with my kids and I’m using the experience as part of a humor writing series I’m working on. There’s a ton of material. For starters, I’m older than pretty much all of the counselors and staff, who all seem fresh-faced and aglow at each and every function. Likewise, I’m working hard to look even slightly aglow. ‘Aflicker’ may be a better term.  

  • The best tricks to cover a blemish

    I love when I confess to something somewhat embarrassing (adult acne breakouts) and it hits home. It makes it worth it. A couple weeks ago, I wrote about my harrowing ordeal getting a cortisone shot for my adult-sized pimple. The results were also very adult – no picking at it like teenager and much quicker recovery.  

  • Sticking it to adult acne break-outs

    In my last column, I confessed to getting pimples more now than when I was waiting to be asked to the prom. The response was amazing. People were sending me notes and messages telling me they too suffer from more blemishes as an adult then they ever did as teens. They also learned that they’d been treating said breakouts the wrong way. 

  • 6 ways to correct spider and varicose veins

    I remember when my daughter asked me about my tattoo. I apprehensively turned to look where she was pointing, ‘cause either I’d gotten a tattoo some drunken college night, without my knowledge, or she was pointing to a vein. To be honest, I wasn’t sure which was better.  

    Alas, it was an ugly blue vein that formed a letter P. The only P in the family is my mother-in-law, which would be abnormal to attribute my faux tattoo to. 

  • How to deal with adult breakouts and blemishes

    Seriously, why does it seem like I get more zits now than I did when I was hitting puberty? I have no pending proms and I got my braces off in 1988, yet I honestly get a couple of zits a month and what’s worse they are small but leave scars. My friends and I like to tease each other when we notice an eruption by saying things like, “OMG, is that from being stressed about Billy asking you to go to third base?” or “Nice pimple, that one would need its own oxygen mask on a plane.” 

  • 6 ways to combat FaceTime neck

    You know how every once in a while you accidentally FaceTime someone or you pick up the phone to take a picture and the camera is turned to face you and you literally squeal in horror? The first thing I always notice is my neck. Why is it so wrinkly? Why does it look older than my face? By next year will someone mistake me for Thanksgiving dinner? 

  • Five anti-aging tools no one should live without

    OK, fine, I could live without them and I certainly don't want you thinking that if some kind of apocalypse happened or I was sent to do Peace Corps work that I would just throw my hands in the air and say, "You don't have the right outlets to charge my Clarisonic, I'm out. Where's the tallest bridge? Crap, I was sent on this mission to build a bridge? Well, as soon as I build it, I'm jumping off of it." What, I'm a philanthropic person, who doesn't like dull slack skin! 

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Jenny Isenman

Contributor

Jenny Isenman AKA “Jenny From the Blog” a pop culture obsessed, card carrying Gen Xer, and the humorist behind the award winning site, The Suburban Jungle.com. Jenny does on air segments as a Generation X, Parenting, and Lifestyle expert for NBC, CBS, FOX, Huff Po Live, and hosted the Jenny Isenman Show for CafeMom. Jenny claims that reading her work will make you smarter, tanner and reduces cellulite... at the very least it’ll keep you literate.